


A Simple Shopping Trip

by Kireii-yume (kireii_yume)



Series: Kireii-Yume's 25 Days of Ficmas 2017 [10]
Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Christmas Shopping, Shopping
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-11
Updated: 2017-12-11
Packaged: 2019-02-13 10:53:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,378
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12982512
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kireii_yume/pseuds/Kireii-yume
Summary: Bruce takes the Batboys to a shopping mall. Hijinks ensue.





	A Simple Shopping Trip

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone it is still technically the 10th this is not late hello denial is that you? ah yes
> 
> Anyway here is an unbeta'd thing finals are kicking my ass

“Alright, I’d like to remind all of you that we are just Christmas shopping,” Bruce said, looking over all of his adoptive sons as they stood at the entrance to the shopping mall. “Just Christmas shopping. I would rather not deal with what happened last year.” The boys all looked at each other with a mix of pride, mirth, and a tiny bit of remorse. Dick snickered, earning himself a glare from Bruce, and then looked away, hiding his grin. “Alright, let’s go.”

“Glad you’re finished, old man,” Jason muttered.

“I’m going with Damian,” Dick announced, trying to get the attention off Jason, and Damian glared at him, making a small “tt” sound as he walked off. 

“Guess it’s you and me,” Tim told Jason, who simply nodded as they went into the mall. And as Bruce watched them, he took a deep breath. Hopefully this year, it would be alright. Hopefully it wouldn’t end in a police visit. He sighed.

A man could dream.  
\----  
Damian immediately decided that he didn’t want Dick following him, but it looked like that was an inevitability. That asshole was attentive, and he just wouldn’t let it go. Trying to make conversation, trying to talk to Damian...ugh. It was the worst. But for a split second, Damian’s frown faded into a small smile. Maybe...he could make this into a game. Dick said he’d go with Damian...could Damian test the limits of that statement?? Well, he wasn’t a Robin for nothing, he thought, grinning to himself. He had some stealth skills. Let’s see if the great Dick Grayson could keep up. 

As a large family came by with screaming children and Dick’s attention was slightly diverted by one of the many things in the mall windows, Damian ducked around the family, turned around the other way, and did his best to blend into the crowd. He scanned the mall, looking for a crowded enough store to slip into, and he managed to see some large, name brand clothing store to his right. Easy enough, he thought. Quickly, efficiently, he slid into the store, ducked behind one of the racks of clothing, and looked around, half expecting Dick to be right behind him. But no, he was nowhere to be found.

“Tt, too easy,” Damien muttered to himself as a grin spread across his face. Time to get some shopping done.  
\----  
“Okay, so we need gifts for Barb, Bruce, Dick, Damian…” Tim listed, talking to himself. Jason, meanwhile, ignored him, looking around. He wasn’t a huge fan of shopping malls, but they had insisted on going, so here he was. And he did need to get some gifts, he really did love his brothers more than just about anything. This wouldn’t be the worst opportunity. Spending time with Tim would be nice.

However, his thoughts moved quickly from Christmas presents when he saw a bunch of people heading into a very, very fancy-looking store. Anyone going into it looked incredibly haughty, like they were better than anyone else, and a few of them gave anyone who looked even remotely disheveled a disapproving look. The shop looked like its security measures were fairly high tech, and it just looked pompous. It’s not like anyone actually used anything in the store, it was just pointless fancy things.

With that thought, Jason Todd had an idea. 

“Hey Tim, you think I could just steal something from that store?” he whispered, making sure he was out of earshot of anyone. 

“I mean you probably could…” Tim said, sounding confused until the purpose of Jason’s query sunk in. “Don’t, Jason,” Tim said in warning. But Jason was already off, walking in nonchalantly and scoping out security measures.   
\-----  
Of course, Dick almost immediately saw Damian disappear. He hadn’t done superhero work for years for nothing, and his powers of observation definitely weren’t shabby. Did Damian really think he could sneak away? Well, Dick decided, he’d have some fun with it while it lasted. Staying a decent distance away, he trailed Damian into a large clothing store, and watched with amusement as Damian hid behind one of the clothing racks. Man, the kid was sure cocky. He’d have to talk to Bruce about that, Dick thought as he easily slipped out of Damian’s view.

As Damian looked around, Dick followed, ducking into cover whenever Damian looked around and keeping his distance. It was funny, honestly. Almost cute. But soon it got boring, so Dick decided to show himself. When they got to the boy’s section, Dick picked up a shirt with some cartoon character on it, stepped out where Damian would be sure to see or hear him, and then held it up toward Damian. Sure enough, Damian whipped around, and Dick casually remarked, “I think this would be a little bit small for you, hm?” 

“How long have you been following me?” Damian hissed, glaring up at Dick. 

“Oh, a little while. You know you’re not as sneaky as you think you are, and you’re not the only Robin in this mall.” 

“I’m the only one who didn’t run around Gotham in teeny little green shorts,” Damian shot back. 

“You’d be lucky to look as good as I do in those shorts,” Dick shot back, winking at Damian. “Now, want to have some brother bonding time? Or are we gonna just keep doing this?” Damian didn’t even respond, he just sprinted, doing his best to be stealthy. But on his way out, he looked over his shoulder at Dick, and ran straight into a clothing rack full of what looked like fairly expensive womens’ dresses. Dick burst out laughing, at least until Damian simply glared at the shop attendant who tried to apprehend him and ran through the mall, running into pedestrians left and right. Dick sighed. “Bruce is gonna kill me, isn’t he?” he murmured to himself as he ran after Damian.   
\------  
Jason Todd was a smart man, Tim couldn’t deny that. But he also didn’t have the most foresight when he wanted to get back at people. Tim watched Jason smartly pocketed his object of choice, a very expensive-looking gold brooch, without anyone seeing--somehow he’d managed to unlock a jewelry case? Why would he bring anything to do that? Regardless, it looked pretty simple, but Tim knew that Jason had neglected a key factor--the environment. Jason looked like many things, but a fancy rich boy wasn’t one of them. So everyone had been watching him fairly intently, and when Jason left with no purchases, someone was bound to question it. 

Tim nonchalantly walked up next to Jason and whispered “You’d better put that back, you’re going to get caught,” as he passed. Before Jason could object, Tim was gone, but quickly he was stopped by a store attendant. 

“Mind turning out your pockets?” the attendant asked. Tim swore internally--they must have thought he passed something off to Jason. This was the last time he tried to get his adoptive brother out of trouble. But as he turned out his pockets, the store attendant was satisfied that he hadn’t taken anything. However, it wasn’t long before another store attendant chased after Jason, who’d tried to use the distraction Tim had provided to sneak out and failed miserably. Before long, mall authorities were called, and Tim was left with one thought.

“Bruce is gonna kill me, isn’t he?”   
\------  
Bruce wasn’t surprised when he got the call that three young adults that claimed to be connected to him had been apprehended by mall authorities. However, he didn’t expect Tim to be one of those three. Dick stood, unsupervised, a smug grin on his face, as Damian, Tim, and Jason sat under heavy supervision. 

“What…” Bruce began. But he was quickly cut off.

“It’s Dick’s fault!!” Damian protested. “The asshole set me up!” 

“I didn’t tell you to do anything, you did it all yourself,” Dick said with a shrug. 

“At least you didn’t get someone else taken in with you as a “suspected accomplice”, Damian,” Tim grumbled, giving Jason a pointed glare.

“You didn’t have to try and help me, I had it under control!” 

Bruce sighed and took the proper measures to get his adoptive children out of the mall jail. Merry Christmas, indeed.

**Author's Note:**

> check out the ol [blog](kireii-yume.tumblr.com)


End file.
